Sunday, November 3, 2013

If we all had an Asterisk...



as·ter·isk - [as-tuh-risk] - noun

1. A small star like symbol (*), used in writing and printing as a reference mark or to indicate omission, doubtful matter, etc.

2. Linguistics: the figure of a star (*) used to mark utterance that would be considered ungrammatical or otherwise unacceptable by native speakers of a language as in * I enjoy to ski.

3. Historical Linguistics: the figure of a star (*) used to mark a hypothetical or reconstructed form that is not attested in a text or inscription.

4. Something in the shape of a star or asterisk verb (used with object)

5. To mark with an asterisk.  

 *I stole that from...http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/asterisk



I keep seeing this on TV and print ads, all kind of ads and promises everywhere; seems the one mandatory thing they have in common is - the asterisk.



I ask: why can't we all live by that rule? Imagine if we could say anything we wanted and all we had to do is carry around a little asterisk on a stick held over our heads?



"I will stand for all the hopes and dreams of the voters in my precinct"*

*Provided the vote falls on the Sunday of a month ending with 'M'.



Or,



"I promise to do all of my homework and get good grades"*

*On any course taught by immigrants from Guam 



Or, 



"I won't spit on your burger"*

*when you are watching



Or the ever popular asterisk before the claim -

*use only as directed.

*must be 18 years older to order



What if we put an asterisk (*) after "IRS" on our tax checks? On the back side, we could add, *Endorsing this check signifies your agreement to fight to the death against anything that might cause the harm or death of anything, plant or animal, in the future. 



*Please note: the reading of this small rant has a 17.5%  chance of the following side effects:

·          lower intestinal disorder

·          pain in the knuckles

·          pain in the ass

·          constant nagging in the ears

·          cat/dog hair in your soup

·          split ends

·          being called 'the Krazy Kat Lady" (HEY! It's only 7 cats and THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!)


Hey, it was just a thought, J