Rights vs. Privileges

While we in the Great State of California we are very privileged, we also have many rights. The state grants us these rights and privileges and we accept them eagerly. It occurs to me, we seem to have some cloudy thinking when it comes to “Rights.” 

Driving, as we learn in high school, is a privilege, not a right. The privilege can be suspended or taken away by the state at any time, if our actions create the provocation to do so. 

Life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness, for most of us, is a right. Rights, unlike privileges, cannot be revoked, (unless you happen to become a felon, then all bets are off).

Someone read in a book some time ago that marriage is between “one man” and “one woman” period. No discussion and no changes. The book, of course, was the Christian Bible. I’m not a big Bible guy and I think the folks who want to live by the dictates of their book are free to do so, as is their right. My problem comes up when their book dictates what rights I am free to exercise and what I cannot. Way back when this country was just getting started, the folks in charge made it clear that religion has no place in this new government. They even put it in the rules (read The US Constitution lately?).

Marriage - is it a Right or a Privilege? In this state, if enough people sign a piece of paper or mark a ballot, this simple “rite” can be made into a privilege and can therefore be revoked.

There are those who talk of the sanctity of marriage and that same sex marriage will destroy the institution. Given marriage survival statistics, I doubt that very much. 

An idea drifted into my head the other day. If marriage is so important why is it treated as a privilege? Is marriage now in the same class as driving, a privilege not a right? The arguers quote their Bible as their reason for not allowing same sex marriages. I would ask how a religious rite enters into the legal argument. The Bible is, after all, a religious doctrine and as such has no place in any legal argument. 

I would submit that it boils down to simple bigotry - not allowing someone else to exercise their rights because it doesn’t match their beliefs. Remember when it was illegal for mixed race couples to marry? 

I remember in grammar school when the teachers of the sixth grade got together and made a new rule: “Blue eyed people were now second class citizens of the school. They had to go to the back of the line at the drinking fountain and not allowed to use chairs in class.” Even in sixth grade we knew this was a dumb idea, let alone just plain mean. It only lasted one day but it made the point: discrimination is dumb and mean. 

Dare I say it? Discrimination doesn’t seem very Christian to me. Judge not. 

To Dad

Bea and Wayne

WELL – here we are, Father’s Day. I was thinking about you, Dad, looking down at me from your Heaven. This isn’t to say I only think of you on Father’s Day but it did remind me of something you used to ask me from time to time; "What were you thinking?" or my favorite "Sometimes I wonder if you think at all". Looking back, I can understand the wondering. But heck, I was just a young kid and, of course, I knew everything, even without thinking.

As I grew up and gained experience in more of what life had to offer,  I did find myself thinking more about what would happen, if...  I did, in fact, see things that made me wonder and think. It wasn’t a secret I found some “substances” to expand my thinking process. To this day, I believe it was a good and right thing for me to do.

Anyhow, along the way, I met a girl.

At the time, she was the "girl of my dreams" and we soon married. We had good times and some great times and some not-so-great times. A lot of fine things grew from our relationship even though a long history was not in the cards. The best thing to come from our relationship was "The Daughter".

You remember "The Daughter", eyes that reach into my soul and a smile that, that, just warms my heart. I loved her mother but, The Daughter just lights up my life. Looking at her and watching her learn; putting dish soap into the dishwasher - just trying to help - and the terror on her face when I came home to suds all over the kitchen. It was then, when after all of the "dumb" things I did growing up, I finally understood why you never knocked me over the fence.

Remember when I asked you if I could go to the concert in The City and was absolutely shocked by your resounding "NO!" You trusted me, but you also knew me, who I was and at what stage of life, and how big a mistake that would have been (don't tell anybody but, once again, you were probably right). I guess I was a little luckier with her than you were with me. I let her go. I trusted her. She was so scared of letting me down she did everything right, (though I’ll bet she didn't have nearly as much fun as I would have), and came home safely.

I didn't raise her by the same rules as you raised me, but I did use the guidelines you installed in me for my reference: take responsibility for your actions; look out for the other guy; pick up a piece of trash along the way; never call in sick on Monday. You remember - those kinds of things.
Freedoms and responsibility go hand in hand. You never came out and said it but that is what I learned from your teachings. Maybe that is part of what I was thinking about when you asked "What were you thinking" and all I could come up with was "I don't know" or "nothing."  (By the way, I get it now, why that used to irk you SO MUCH.)

The Daughter is out on her own now. All seems well with her, though she doesn't share a lot of information with me, (sound familiar?). She has a strong support group and is loved and respected by her friends and coworkers.

I have done my best and owe most of the credit to your inspiration and leadership. Now I guess I must ask, “What are you thinking? How am I doing?”

With love, The Son

Why we play the game

In baseball you're taught to "always run out the play." Just because your hit didn't go as far, or go as high, as you wanted it and you think you going to be out at first, always finish the play.

The same holds true in day to day life as well.

The other morning I woke up to grey skies and water slowly dripping from the Crepe Myrtle onto the Wisteria and then to the ground. Not an inviting way to start a day at all. Surrendering to the reality I couldn't stay in bed all day, I got up and took a shower. For a few minutes the day looked better; alas, it did not last.

Dressed and in the kitchen, coffee in hand, the day was still a drizzly grey and depressing. Days like this remove most of my motivation, and for the most part I don't care. The day just sort of drags along, minutes seem like hours, food tastes like dust and the cats are just a pain in the butt.

I knew what I needed. A dose of The Darling Rebecca. Always a bright spot in my day, alas her day was no better than mine. A remedy was needed. "Dinner out!" I suggested to her and she agreed. But where? With the doldrums of the day, no decision would be forth coming on my part. Maybe dropping different names in a hat and drawing one out. 

With Rebecca's arrival at home a decision had to be made and "The Social Club" was the winner so with the livestock fed we were free to go.

And with cocktail and menu in hand the decision was made to "nosh" rather than "dine" and so we did. The day was beginning to improve. After some crab cakes, deviled eggs, fried chicken and a couple of cocktails, we were ready for dessert. Ice cream was in order, or a glass of wine "on the veranda" down at Mc Nears.

As we entered the plaza, on the way to our rendezvous with our after dinner aperitif, music could be heard. There sitting by himself in a chair with with his guitar and surrounded by assorted foot pedals and gizmos, was Sebastian Nau.

It was Monday night and Sebastian has committed to playing outside of “Speakeasy”, a late night wine and nosh place. We changed direction and sat and ordered our wine.

We were immediately struck by the sound we were hearing as Sebastian tapped his pedals and strummed his guitar. It turned out he was recording the different layers of the song he was about to play so he could play along with himself as his accompaniment.  The intricacies of the music and his ability to keep things straight are just amazing. It is no wonder the boys in the band, Highway Poets, refer to him as “The Man Himself”

                       

 Well the day ended on quite an uplifting note indeed. With toes tapping, hearts beating and faces smiling it was a great ending to a dreadful beginning.

So, like the coach said “Always run out the play,”  cause you never know what’s waiting for you at the end.

Stay Tooned…